SPANISH GP REVIEW: Sad Lando = Happy Me

Another race, another Max Verstappen win, but it just feels like it’s a matter of time before it all comes together for Lando Norris.

The last few races have given F1 fans hope, that the tide might finally be changing. From Norris’ last stint charge in Imola, to a titanic battle at Montreal two weeks ago. There is just a feeling that Max Verstappen might have to break sweat for his race wins this season.

The reactions after the race said it all and they pleased me. Lando Norris has built a brand on being the smiley, happy go lucky chap seemly just loving life in the paddock. This goes down with the youthful, Netflix types. But points had been raised about his ruthlessness and more importantly desire to win races.  

Question marks had been raised in the past about how he raced his mate Verstappen and if he was giving him an easy ride, I felt he answered a few of those critics yesterday afternoon, even if he comes away without the win.

A lot didn’t go well for Lando in this race, another poor start and struggling to get past the lightning starting George Russell in the first stint. All meant he was playing catch up, which he ultimately didn’t recover from.

BUT, two things happened over the weekend that gives me faith that Lando Norris has what it takes to battle for a Championship.

Firstly, the start. It wasn’t a good one and was sluggish off the line. However, he showed a piece of aggression by attempting to squeeze Max to the edge of the track and beyond, it didn’t quite pay off and Max managed to incredibly keep his foot in it on the grass and still glide past the McLaren. It is through a positive sign that Lando is perhaps more comfortable in getting his elbows out to the three-time champion.

Secondly, his comments during and after the race were encouraging. He was fixated on chasing Max down before his last stop and had no concerns in having to pass the Mercedes on track. At the flag, he came home second, just two seconds behind Max. The Lando of the last few seasons would’ve been delighted with that, but instead he made his thoughts clear “I should have won, I f****d the start”. Hearing that, was music to my ears, a frustrated Lando now realising that he is missing out on race wins, rather than just being content with podiums. That shift in mindset will hopefully give us more brilliant racing between the two.

In this age of a generational talent in Verstappen being able to win from all situations. To beat him, you must be perfect. Lando and McLaren didn’t manage that on Sunday, but it does now seem that at least they realise they’re in the fight.  

DANIEL RICCIARDO: Driving to Survive

I love Daniel, but time does seem to be running out for the F1 star.

JACQUES ATTACK

As the dust settled on a fantastic Canadian Grand Prix, attention rightly moved on from the main story earlier that weekend.

A surprising off track rivalry formed between the 1997 World Champion, Jacques Villeneuve and 8-time race winner Daniel Ricciardo. The Canadian offered a brutal assessment of Daniel, on air with Sky Sports he said “"If you can't cut it go home. There's someone else to take your place. That's what's always been in racing. It's the pinnacle of the sport. There's no reason to keep going and to keep finding excuses. His image has kept him in F1 more than his actual result."

However, after qualifying an excellent 5th. Daniel replied in the media pen with ‘eat sh*t!’

In the end it was a bit of a scrapy race from the Australian, coming home 8th after a jump start penalty put him on the backfoot.

So, does Jacques have a point?

This weekend marked 10 years since Daniel’s first win in the sport, two more wins followed that season, with many at the time stating that he will be a ‘future world champion’.

That assessment never materialised, so where did it all go wrong? Let’s take a look back at what has happened since that first win.

POWER STRUGGLES

In early 2016, Daniel had cemented himself as the Red Bull number 1 driver. He had dismantled 4 time world champion Sebastian Vettel who had left for Ferrari. His teammate at the time, Daniel Kvyat could not match his pace…cue Red Bull ruthlessness. Incredibly, the team dropped Kvyat for 17-year-old Max Verstappen, who exploded onto the scene by winning his first ever race for the team in Barcelona.

What followed was the power battle between the two, Daniel managed to edge out Max in both seasons they raced together, but it was becoming inevitable that Red Bull management were building the team around Max. 

NETFLIX STARDOM

Off the track, F1 was under new management and a new approach of opening the sport up to new fans was underway. A new Netflix documentary was put into production for the 2018 season. Understandably, teams and drivers from the big three (Mercedes, Ferrari and Red Bull) were apprehensive about giving access and decided not to partake. Apart from Daniel Riccardo. The move proved to be a shrewd one, the series proved to be a huge success. With millions of new fans for the sport and for Riccardo. Since then, Daniel has offered whichever team he has been at commercial success. Firstly Renault, where his move to the team became one of the highlights of the Netflix doc. Since, McLaren and now Toro Rosso. Now in a price cap era, the commercial gains of a team become even more important, which is a big reason why Perez continues to remain at Red Bull.

COMMITMENT ISSUES

In the early part of his career, nobody could doubt his pace. Red Bull were never really able to provide him with a Championship winning car. With his faith in the team waning, he decided to jump ship to a new project at Renault (now Alpine). Overall, it was a failure, with just one lonely podium to show. Daniel didn’t hang around and decided to once again leave the team to join McLaren. This is where things started to unravel for Daniel, new talents such as Charles LeClerc, George Russell and Lando Norris were starting to emerge. With the later beating the Australian over the course of the two seasons together, albeit with Daniel coming away . He left McLaren at the end of 2022, with suitors willing to now take a risk on an eight-time race winner.

His messy career path had shades of Fernando Alonso, without the early Championships. Commitment issues and being schooled by younger talents now means none of the big hitters in the sport fancies the 34-year-old anymore.

MISSED OPPORTUNITY

Even though his powers were seeming to diminish, he was handed a lifeline from his old mate Christian Horner. After a year of sitting on the sidelines, he returned to where it all began, Toro Rosso. Question marks remained over the future of Sergio Perez at Red Bull and whether he is capable of being a suitable deputy to Max Verstappen. Therefore, the challenge was clear for Daniel, perform well and be in with a chance of a Red Bull seat for 2025.

However, an awful start to the season and being has meant that his options are starting to dwindle for next season.

ONE LAST DANCE

I know, the wrong Netflix series! But it does seem that a curtain is starting to close on Daniel Riccardo’s F1 career. As a brand, he is still one of the biggest in the sport, sitting 5th in the current grid’s winners list (Hamilton 103, Verstappen 60, Alonso 32 and Bottas 10) and remains one of the most followed and loved drivers across social media. This reason alone has probably gifted him opportunities that others have missed out on, with fellow race winner Esteban Ocon about to be cast aside too, albeit without the countless second chances.

 We will wait and see what the rest of the season brings for Daniel. I for one can’t wait to watch it…in a dramatised version coming to Netflix in Spring 2025.  

CANADIAN GP REVIEW: Please Sir, I want some more

It’s 9:30pm on Sunday 9th June.

Max Verstappen has just won the Canadian Grand Prix. But don’t worry, this wasn’t the usual storm from the front type of victory, he was made to work for it.

Opportunity missed for George Russell?

For the first time in God knows how long, three teams and five drivers were in the hunt for the victory. Changeable weather conditions and genuine close competition of pace- Russell and Max couldn’t be separated in qualifying- made for a race that you just couldn’t take your eyes off.

Canada always seems to deliver close racing, the narrow track and unforgiving barriers means mistakes are punished, however long straights allow for overtaking. Throw in some wet-dry conditions and it brings everyone in contention.

At various points of the race, the entire top 5 would’ve fancied their chances. It seems a lifetime ago now, but at the start of the race Kevin Magnussen looked like he had played a blinder in the Haas. When he stormed up the field on his full wet tyres. At one point he was up to forth, however no more persistent rain, meant he quickly dropped down the field.

George Russell quickly built a decent lead, however on a drying track, Verstappen and Norris closed the gap behind him. We had a glimmer of how difficult overtaking would be without DRS- hello 2026!  With Max and Lando breathing down his neck, but not yet allowed to open the window of fresh air, on the rear wing. 

Soon enough DRS was enabled, Norris had blistering pace at this stage and passed both Max and George for the lead. George made his first mistake of the afternoon in combat with Lando and slipped behind Verstappen. He was playing catch up from then on really, on a race of ‘what could have been’ for the still maturing Brit.

Lando’s pace at this point of the race, was nothing short of astonishing really. He was almost too quick, blasting 6 seconds up the road from his nearest rivals, meant that an unfortunate timed safety car left him unable to pit. When he did finally manage to do so, he dropped behind Max into 2nd.

Max I feel is doing exactly what greats do, like Lewis Hamilton 2017-2020 and Schumacher 2000-2004, where they are there in the right place to mop up the pieces. He remained calm, kept the car on track and beautifully allowed the race to come to him. This is where George will feel disappointed, it should have been him in 2nd and ultimately probably had the overall pace to win the race. His lack of ruthlessness in this situation is becoming evident, something that may concern Mercedes, especially with their seven-time Champ soon to be departing.

 Mysteriously, when the rain returned, and racing resumed. Lando’s blistering pace had deserted him. As we saw in Imola, the McLaren is kind on its tyres, so towards the end of stints keeps a lot of its pace. However, on fresh rubber Max had enough in hand to stay at the front.

And that’s how the order remained, the second round of stops allowed the switch to dry tyres. The Mercedes with both George and Lewis seemed the quickest car, but another sloppy George mistake when trying to chase down Max dropped him behind Lando and Lewis.

Verstappen ended up bringing it home fairly comfortably in the end, the drivers behind him to busy squabbling to really put him under any significant pressure in the last 10 laps.

Overall though it was a wonderful race, it does seem in the last few races that McLaren Mercedes and Ferrari (not this weekend) have closed the gap to Verstappen. All we want as fans is close racing and thankfully, we are getting that back again. Please Sir, I want some more.  

Race Rating- 9/10

SIDE NOTE: Well done Martin Brundle and Sky Sports F1 on achieving the wholesome moment of the weekend. The wonderful interview with the great Mary McGee was a breath of fresh air. These are the interviews we want to see more of, people who are passionate about F1 and motorsport, not celebrities who don’t have a clue. I could’ve listened to Mary all day, and I was glad to see that Mercedes invited her to meet ‘Mr Hamilton’ after the race.

CHINESE GRAND PRIX REVIEW: We’re witnessing statistical greatness

It’s 7:30am on Sunday 21st April. My alarm has just rudely awaken me at a disgusting time for a Sunday. For the first time this season I’ve decided to actually wake up for a fly away race and see if it’s as bad as everyone is making out. 

It’s a strange one to write about as it was an ok race. Enough action further down the field to make it interesting, but on the whole the lack of action for first place made difficult to get too aroused. 

I feel we are in the middle of an incredible stat based few years for Max Verstappen. Providing his car finishes the race, he is almost certain to win. I have never known an era where a driver never seems to have an ‘off weekend’. He deserves so much credit for being able to pull out such consistantcy  It’s just a shame that he just has it so easy at the moment. 

This race should probably have been a Red Bull 1-2, but a safety car allowed Lando Norris to sneak in front of Perez. The Mexican was unable to really make a proper threat on the McLaren. It seems like an opportunity missed for him, especially when his team mate is lapping nearly 1second a lap faster. 

Further back, the Lewis Hamilton saga continues. It’s another utterly bizarre weekend from the seven time Champ. Who went from showing his class in the wet on Friday, becoming 2nd best in the sprint on Saturday morning. I don’t think anyone was then expecting him to put his Mercedes 18th on the grid. He then spent most of Sunday’s race complaining of tyres and overall pace, to come home in 9th. If Lance Stroll wouldn’t have rammed the safety car queue, he might not of even got points. 

As someone who has watched Lewis from his GP2 triumph in 2006, it’s been a tough watch the last couple of years. I’m just hoping that the move to Ferrari next season gives him a new lease of life as at the moment it seems like he is fighting a car suffering with Schizophrenia. 

A wholesome moment of the weekend was Zhou’s tearful reaction to finishing his first Grand Prix on home sole. It was a great moment for him and fair play to F1 allowing him to line up on the grid with the top three (or 1st and 3rd due to Norris getting lost).

Overall, it was a decent return to China after a five year absence (I wonder why?). Max is on the verge of all time greatness and is destined for his 4th title in a row. It’s time to sit back and enjoy the stat-fest while the rest of them battle for 2nd. At least I can watch them at more UK friendly times of the day. 

Next up, it’s over to Miami for the seasonal Cringe Grand Prix. 

FA CUP SEMI FINAL REVIEW: “I love this club more than my wife”

It’s 4:45pm on Sunday 21st April. Manchester United are 3-0 and cruising into another FA Cup Final. I had managed to get a ticket in the Coventry end after one of my mates had foolishly booked a holiday on semi final day. 

At that point it had been a lovely day out, the game going how most expected, with a sense of pride wafting around the Coventry end. It’s not everyday you reach an FA Cup semi final playing against Manchester United. 

However, Wembley is something Coventry know well. This was their 4th appearance there in 7 years. So the idea that they were going to let the occasion get the better of them was never going to wash. 

The game exploded into life in the 70th minute when Ellis Simms produced a great finish off the shin pad and into the bottom corner. United suddenly retreated, Onana taking an age with goal kicks, wing backs ambling towards throw ins. The mindset had changed and Coventry sensed blood. 

A few minutes later O’Hare slapped a shot on the back on Wan-Bissaka, the ball took off and seemed to take an age to come down from orbit and drop into the corner. Wembley was stunned. 

At this point it seemed inevitable that Coventry were going to equalise. A mid-table Championship side vs 12 time FA Cup winners, and the game was only going one way. 

Cue injury time drama, Haji Wright sent over the cross, the ball was turned back towards goal and hit Wan-Bissaka hand. Wright sent the keeper the wrong way. Carnage. 

At this point, the two pre match cans of Stella sold inside the concourse of Wembley were taking effect. Really Wembley? The National stadium and the best you can do is Stella, in a can? Unfiltered though, whatever that means. I dashed out for a full time bathroom break, fans hugging, jumping for joy on the way out. 

As extra time started, both teams dragged themselves up and down the pitch. Fernandes reminded us of his quality and smashed the bar from the edge of the box. Not to be outdone, Ellis Simms also rattled the bar. It looked as though penalties were beckoning again. But, as we approached injury time in extra time, Wright broke the lines, Torp summoned one last stretch to connect with his cross to slide the ball in the corner. Unbelievable scenes followed, which seemed to go on for an age. A man from the row in front turned to face us, sobbing with joy, stating “I love this club more than my wife”. Unfortunately before the tearful man could submit to his divorce papers to his unloved other half. There was a VAR check underway, which would eventually rule out the goal by a blurry toenail.

Penalties it was then, having had the goal in the last minute taken away it felt like momentum was with Manchester United. And that is how it turned out. Rasmus slotted home the winning penalty to witness possibly the least celebrated semi in history.

VAR spoiled Coventry’s romantic comeback and I’m still not sure its the correct decision. Unless the VAR truck have super HD zoom capabilities, how can they clearly decide; firstly when the ball left O’Hare’s foot and the exact position of the end of Haji Wright’s toe? It can’t be 100% clear on this, so how can it rule out a goal on that evidence. The whole thing needs a rethink, but that’s up to people clever than I to come up with a solution.

On the whole though, that was one of the greatest matches I’ve ever had to witness live. It’s a shame that it didn’t get it’s fairytale ending but it does go to show that the magic of the cup is still alive.

Match Rating- 9/10

VAR Joy Killer Rating 1/10

EASTER WEEKEND REVIEW: He’s magic you know…

It’s 4:30pm on Easter Monday. I’m currently in a food coma, full to the brim of chocolate eggs. It was a good haul this year, with 6 eggs being received in total. Yes, I am a 29 year old man, yes I still love getting Easter eggs…

I’m powering through though, chopping vegetables in preparation for a sausage casserole for dinner later. A 5:30pm kick off time for Ipswich vs Southampton meant that a later eating time was on the cards, but little did I know at the time what would happen while those Cumberland’s were roasting away in the oven.

Earlier in the weekend, I had attended a rather feisty game between League Two playoff chasers AFC Wimbledon and Harrogate. At 1-1, game was heading for an exciting second half before an incredibility harsh red card was awarded to Wimbledon goal scorer Ronan Curtis. An angry long bearded spectator sitting next to me, made his thoughts towards the referee heard for the rest of the game. Even with 10 men, The Dons looked the more likely to grab a winner, which unfortunately never came.

After the game, we shared soft beverages in The Phoenix pub which is attached to the Stadium. The club is just a short 15-minute walk for me and there is so much to like about the club, over 8,000 fans packed into the stadium to watch a sun kissed League Two game. Local food stands, beer from the brewery down the road, it’s a team I think everyone hopes are in the league above. The draw took them within 1 point of 6th place. (albeit a defeat on Monday revised that target to 3).  

The Phoenix is littered with big screens, which was a result for me. Blackburn vs Ipswich was up next. No commentary in the pub meant it was extremely tough to realise that Conor Chaplin had scored early on. I celebrated on my own- seemingly AFC Wimbledon don’t have many cross over Ipswich Town fans. That was the only real piece of quality the boys in orange mustered over the 90 minutes, and you could argue they were ‘lucky’ to escape with all three points.

Monday rolled around, with time in-between spent with families. I had managed to catch the last 20 minutes of a drab top of the Premier League clash at the Etihad. Just over 24 hours later The Championship was going to show them how to do it.

A packed-out Portman Road looked stunning in the evening sun. It was an incredible, chaotic match against two teams going for the win.

From the kick off, Southampton showed their Premier League quality. For the first time in 2024 a team arguably outplayed Ipswich in their own backyard. Time and again they beat the Town press to glide up the pitch with ease. Ipswich though for their lack of time on the ball, always looked dangerous in the final third. Shown by Leif Davis’ thunderous strike early on. The lead would barely last a moment, when Che Adams bundled the ball in to level the scores. Five minutes later and The Saints would turn the game on its head. Stuart Armstrong charged through the centre of the pitch and played a perfect ball for his name sharing teammate Adam Armstrong to score. Going into halftime was a deserved lead for Southampton, McKenna needed to come up with something to turn the tide.

During the break, I checked on the casserole. It was coming along nicely, I topped it up with some stock and went back to the game. In all honesty I felt that Ipswich would do well to get something out of the game, Southampton just seemed like a different proposition that we had seen before. However, they couldn’t put the game to bed and McKenna played his substitutes trump card.

Broadhead first combined with Ali Hamidi, who struck the post. It immediately lifted the crowd and just a few minutes later Broadhead would raise the noise levels further, at both Portman Road and in Southwest London. As in full slow motion he slowly curled in the equaliser.

The game after that point could have gone either way, but I think in truth we knew that this could be Ipswich’s moment, especially when Southampton got reduced to 10 in the last few minutes. In true Ipswich style they left it late, very late. With 90+6 on the clock, The Saints criminally left the Assist King Leif Davis unmarked. He perfectly found Jeremy Sarmiento on the penalty spot. The Columbian swung, missed, slipped, got up, toe poked… scored. Carnage ensued, limbs a plenty, my girlfriend rushed into the room thinking I was having some kind of crisis. “I have never seen you this way before”, were the words that came out of her mouth, which I think goes to show what a special moment this was. Ipswich haven’t graced the Premier League for 22 years, for my supporting life, times have been mostly drab with 4 miserable years in League One.

After all of those years, this just feels different, that this team has got what it takes to drag Ipswich back to the top.

I celebrated the only way I know how, but devouring a sausage casserole. Victory tasted so sweet.

AUSTRALIAN GP REVIEW: The cursed appendix

It’s 8:36am. I awake in a Coventry city centre Premier Inn. I had every intention of waking up at 4am to watch the race. However, I had been at my mates 30th birthday the evening before, so was instead in a Sky Blue Lager coma. I awoke to many surprises. The first, that know one had told me that Premier Inn had done away with the cooked breakfast buffet. You now have to order per item to a member of staff, who would give a disapproved look if you wanted to order a hammocks worth of hash browns.

The second, being that Max Verstappen didn’t win the Australian Grand Prix. On my last F1 race review, I stated that Max could potentially clean sweep the entire season if his reliability kept with form and stayed strong. Just three races in and that prediction is now gone. Just 4 laps into a sun swept Melbourne race, Verstappen retired with a brake failure after Carlos Sainz had previously swept past the Dutchman the lap previous. That is where Carlos stayed all race, controlling it beautifully from the front all race to secure a remarkable win, just two weeks after having surgery.

Carlos Appendix-less Sainz wins the Australian GP

The Spaniard had to pull out of Jedah due to appendicitis, with young Oliver Bearman amicably standing in. Now recovered Carlos returned, albeit without his appendix, which had been removed on the operating table. It made me think, had Carlos’ dodgy appendix been holding him back? And now the cursed organ has been removed will it give him a new lease of life?

Nico Rosberg mentioned the lengths he went do in beating Lewis Hamilton to the 2016 World Championship, by saving weight by giving up cycling. He claims thats what helped him pip Hamilton to pole in Japan. Now Carlos, has saved around 20g now he’s appendix-less. Did that help make the difference?

Or, and perhaps more likely. Is the fact that he’s currently without a seat next season. On performances like this I doubt that is going to be the case for long. Sainz is still the only man since George Russell in Brazil 2022 to beat the Red Bull's of Verstappen and Sergio Perez, so surely deserves more time in a top team. I do wonder whether it could end up being a straight swap at Mercedes, taking the empty seat of a soon departing seven time World Champion

Speaking of the Silver Arrows, the longer this season goes on, the more Lewis Hamilton’s decision to move to Ferrari seems validated. His Mercedes limping out of the race with engine failure within the first 20 laps continues the teams woes. Russell crashing out two laps from the end, chasing Fernando Alonso for 6th summed it all up really. Alonso gets a penalty, which probably means George’s reputation seems untouched for now. I do think that it was a pretty harsh penalty though, Fernando certainly braked earlier, but surely disrupting other drivers momentum is a part of racing? For me, there was enough of a gap to Russell behind to do so without it being dangerous. I seem to remember that he did the same thing in 2021 when fighting Hamilton at Hungary, but then it was applauded. I do think the penalty has only been applied due to George scarily ending up in the middle of the track on his side.

Overall, the race was an ok one. Interestingly, Sergio Perez came out afterwards and said that Max wouldn’t of won the race today, if he hadn’t retired. I wonder if he’s trying to make himself feel better about his lack of race pace? Either way, I really hope this is a sign of Ferrari taking the battle to Red Bull for the rest of the season. Now the cursed appendix is gone, I hope the dark clouds of Red Bull dominance are beginning to pass.

Aside from the racing, there was lots of chat on Twitter around the fact that both Sky Sports and Channel 4 decided against flying out a full team to Australia. Choosing to broadcast from studios (or McLaren HQ in Channel 4’s case) instead. I for one, actually don’t mind this move. With a race start time of 4am UK time, the cost vs reward for the broadcasters just doesn’t add up. I don’t feel we missed out too badly, with the likes of Ted Kravitz, Martin Brundle and Crofty all still in attendance down under. It remains to be seen, but I do wonder if this change towards the ‘eastern’ races will become a more familiar one. With a mammoth season underway, I’m sure the teams appreciate missing out on a few cooked breakfast buffets.

Race Rating 7/10

Breakfast Rating 5 hash browns/10

FA CUP REVIEW: Man shouts at Child

It’s 9:29pm. I’m currently sat in a hotel room in Hampshire. I’m away with work this week so have just had time to sit down and write my thoughts on the FA Cup action over the weekend.

We were treated to three brilliant Quarter finals, with drama and close contests across the board. Over the past few years, the rhetoric has always been that teams don’t care about idea of winning silver wear, and instead the money that comes with qualifying for Europe is more of a pull. Over the weekend however, this didn’t seem to apply.

All 6 teams left in the old cup,  could argue that they had bigger fish to fry in their respected domestic competitions, but instead they all played out proper footy matches.

It started, with plucky Coventry in a midlands derby of some sorts, against Wolves. It was a right barmy of a match, with Coventry scoring two goals in injury time to win the tie.  The magic of the cup was well and truly alive, shown beautifully by Mark Robins screaming at a young wolves ball boys face.

Mark Robins celebrates Coventry’s winner the only way he knows how…

It was in parts a beautiful symbol of the game. The championship ride howling at the Premier League outfit. It was a great game and a deserved win for Robins men. On a personal level having studied at university in Coventry, and have two best mate supporters, it means that I’m going to get a chance to watch Coventry at Wembley for the third time. Twice more than my own team Ipswich.

It was followed on Saturday evening by the most regulation of the weekends Quarter Final’s.

Thankfully for me, I was out for dinner when this game was on. Me and the girlfriend have decided to make the most of our last few months in London, by visiting various special restaurants on our list, which is a long way of saying ‘Date Night’. This time around we headed up to Dalston to give Mangal II a whirl. The meal was delicious, even if I barely knew what half of the ingredients of each dish were. I do now know that I like Pirzola, Sivri Biber and Cull Yaw.

Man City scored two deflected first goals to seal a place in the semi finals against a Newcastle side unable to to break through City’s defence. The back to back treble is still on for Pep’s side, and you really wouldn’t bet against them completing an unthinkable achievement.

Sunday began with another fantastic tie at Stamford Bridge. Having been at Chelsea’s previous round game against Leeds, I fancied Leicester to cause them problems. They did just that, fighting their way down from 2-0 to get back to level terms, before Liam Doyles red card swung the tie in Chelsea’s favour. The came up 4-2 winners, but the Champ outfit will feel that they can give it a good go in the top flight next season, if they manage to get promoted.

The weekend was finished off with an utter humdinger between two old rivals in Manchester United and Liverpool. Klopps farewell tour hit a snag, it will be no Wembley fairytale for him, as United came up trumps 4-3 AET. A wonderful match against two sides playing aggressive, brave football. Something that has been missing from United this season.

A lot has been said about the FA in the last few years, not least by the likes of Jurgen Klopp. Criticising replays and the amount of games etc. But these four ties, just went and showed that the cup is special. One off ties, allow teams to be outlandish and throw everything at it. United’s insane 5-0-5 formation would never be seen in the League. This year has given the opportunity for Coventry to mix it with the big guns in the FA Cup Semi Finals. Memories that will stay with their fans for a lifetime, much more than finishing 8th in the Championship ever would.

I think its a shame that mid and lower Premier League sides don’t want to take these games more seriously. They would argue that just staying in the Prem/ qualifying for Europe is more important, but look at what you’re missing out on…there manager could too, be shouting in a child’s face on route to Wembley. “The Glamour of the Cup”.

Off Track: My Favourite F1 Scandals

It’s 9:52am- I’ve just arrived into work after a miserable rainy commute. I check my phone to see an F1 story which has seemly been slow cooking for the past few years. ‘Felipe Massa sues F1 management and Bernie Ecclestone’ over the outcome of the famous ‘Crashgate’ scandal of 2008. Where Nelson Piquet was told to put his car in the wall on purpose to give team mate Fernando Alonso a preferable strategy and eventually the win, at the expense of Massa, who would go on to lose the Championship by a single point to Lewis Hamilton.

The last few weeks certainly haven’t been quite on the F1 scandal front, with a steady stream of stories coming from Red Bull, regarding the conduct of team boss Christian Horner. Many have said, including 1996 World Champion Damon Hill, that F1 used to be about *clenches fist* “the racing”. But has it really? Ever since I have followed the sport, as an excited 6 year old watching Mika Hakkinen beat Michael Schumacher in the late 90’s, there has always been a backdrop of controversy surrounding the sport. I take a look back on some of my favourites in my lifetime…

MICHAEL SCHUMACHER EXPELLED- 1997

There are probably quite a few potential Schumacher scandals that could make the list. From crashing into Damon Hill in 1994 to win his first championship, or parking up at Monaco in 2006. But it’s 1997 that stands out, the season finale vs Williams driver Jacque Villeneuve coming down to the wire, in a winner takes all clash. Schumacher attempted to recreate his 94’ antics, only to end up beached in the gravel trap, handing the title to Jacque. Due to his actions Michael was subsequently stripped of his 2nd place in the Championship.

Rating 7/10- It’s up their with my favourites purely due to the instant karama on show.

THE TYRE WAR- 2005

This is the first scandal on this list I actually remember, I was three years old when Schumi attempted to swipe JV off the road. However, I remember fully this debacle. Michelin tyres exploding in the USA, meant that the manufactuer pulled its cars out of the event at Indonapolis in 2005. It meant that just 6 Bridgestone running cars started the Grand Prix. Two Ferraris, two Jordans and two Minardis. It was a weird and almost funny sight to behold, less so for the people in attendance, some left, others launched beer bottles onto the track. In the end Schumacher lead home a Ferrari 1-2, Monterio brought home his Jordan to 3rd place, and brilliantly sprayed champagne on his own. It was an overall case of F1 shooting itself in the foot again, Michelin brought the wrong tyres to the event. But not allowing them to change, or add in a chicane on the high speed banking meant that only the fans missed out. F1 would race at Indie for the last time in 2007 and have never returned.

Rating 5/10: Funny at times, but F1’s ability to self harm shone through. It took Netflix to rebuild F1’s reputation in the states.

SPY GATE- 2007

One of my favourite ever Formula 1 seasons yet again set across a dark backdrop of scandal. It was Ferrari vs McLaren vs Lewis Hamilton vs Fernando Alonso. With Kimi Raikonnen coming from nowhere in the last couple of races to ruin the beautiful chrome cars party. Behind the scenes it was even more incredible, with a disgruntled employee of Ferrari handing over top secret documents to someone who worked for rivals McLaren. It ended up leaving McLaren with a £100million fine and being thrown out of the constructors championship (something they haven’t won since 1998.) It was an almighty season and one you can imagine Drive to Survive digging their teeth into if it were today.

Rating 9/10: Sounded like the plot to a spy drama, it had everything and the action on track matched.

HAMILTON VS ROSBERG -2016

To be honest, this is more of a conspiracy theory, but nevertheless I liked it. At the start of the turbo era, Mercedes, like Red Bull in 2024 had a huge advantage. Thankfully Nico Rosberg gave Lewis Hamilton an almighty battle in all three seasons from 2014-2016. As we went into the 2016 season. Three time champion Hamilton had pipped Nico the championship the following two years. It ended up being a titanic battle throughout the season, with it going down to the last race again. However, in Malaysia it looked as though Lewis was going to have the championship in his control again. That was until a huge engine blow out, meant Rosberg could finish the remaining races in P2 and take the title. Which he did. Stories circulated that the German manufacturer Mercedes, wanted a German champion and pulled the plug on Lewis’ engine in Malaysia. Earlier that season the team had also swapped mecanics around in the garage, fuelling Hamiltons paranoia around the situation. What made it seem even fishier was that Rosberg then decided not to defend his crown, retirin

Rating: 8/10: A brilliant conspiracy, ending with Nico’s ride off into the sunset never to been seen again (a part from Sky Sports coverage)

ABU DHABI- 2021

Not sure what more I can even say about this. Hamilton vs Verstappen. Winner takes all. It was an incredbile end to the greatest F1 season I had ever watched. It had everything you wanted, two huge teams fighting it out, with two of the best ever drivers the sport has ever seen. Hamilton looked like he was cruising to the title before a late crash brought out the safety car. Normal protocols were thrown out of the window to put Verstappen behind Lewis for the last lap. Max overtook Hamilton on fresh tyres to win the championship. Never before has a race director, Michael Masi had so much attention on him. Mercedes were going to court to question the final result of the championship, but It was concluded that it was human error and Verstappen’s first Championship stood. A season that will never be matched.

Rating: 10/10: Insane. Featuring: manipulation, human error, youth vs experience and a brilliant season tarnished by it’s last lap.

THE RED BULL CATERING COST CAP

Weird one. The cost cap was first brought into the sport in 2022 to help even the playing field and stop the big teams from constantly dominating the sport. This doesn’t seem to have worked really, with Red Bull, Ferrari and Mercedes still taking the top spots. The question around this new policy, was how it was actually going to be policed? That question was answered it its first year, when Red Bull breached the budget cap. The excuse? Catering. Red Bull claimed that the only area they went over on was in the food budget.. It was an incredible time, tensions heightened due to the nature of Red Bull winning the Championship in 2021. Meant that Toto Wolf and other team bosses wanted Red Bull thrown out of the Championship. However, the team paid the price for serving expensive sarnies by having a 10% reduction in wind tunnel time, essentially a slap on the wrist.

Rating: 5/10: Could expensive sandwiches win a championship? By looking at what has followed since, maybe so.

BIG BAD WOLFFS & HORNY HORNER 2023/2024

I do wonder how big these scandals would’ve turned out if the action on track was as drab as it is? It started in the off season, when a complaint was heard from an unnamed team regarding the apparent conflict of interest been Susie and Toto Wolff. All teams denied that it was them and to this day, we still have no idea who submitted the complaint. A strange but short saga for the off season.

Things were only going to get weirder. Just before the car launches, an investigation was launched by Red Bull into team boss Christian Horner and his conduct towards a female employee. Just before the first race in Bahrain, Horner was cleared of any wrong doing. Just hours later, a Google Drive containing alleged messages between Horner and the employee were leaked. What did we learn from them? Christian likes coco pops, his flirting game is weak and he’s a bit naughty.

Rating: 4/10: The only thing worth talking about in F1 at the moment. Which is sad.

Saturday Sports Review: The Broken Car Wash

It’s 8:55am- I’ve have just woken up to see that England have predicability been demolished by India in the 5th and final test. The team follow in the footsteps of the previous tours, some bright moments, but the reality being that they’re just no where the quality required in Indian conditions. A lot has been made of the ‘Bazball’ approach, but I think a bit of perspective is needed. Before the Stokes and McCullum era, England had just been comprehensively beaten by West Indies. The test team was in complete disarray. However, in the (nearly) two years afterwards, they have made a competition out of every single test since. The style has brought England so much closer to their rivals and is covering up some of the quality disparity between teams. In the early hours of the morning, James Anderson became the first ever fast bowler to reach 700 wickets, a remarkable achievement, even if the wicket itself had minimal impact on the game.

The winter cricket is over then. I hope that there are no overreactions from the India tour. The media will have the knifes out for who’s to blame, but no one has got close to India on home soil for over a decade. This England team has made us believe, but sometimes there is no shame in admitting that you’re second best. Now its time for the sport to hand over its soul, as it embarks on a nearly 3 month IPL season, wake me up in June.

If the day started badly it was only going to get worse. Ipswich made the long 500 mile round trip to Cardiff for the early kick off, thanks Sky Sports. It was a pretty turgid game. Town weathered the early storm in the first 20mins, before beginning to control the game, without really testing the Cardiff box. However, Kieffer Moores incredible finish against his former club in the 80th minute, made it look like Ipswich were heading joint top. But… but… but. Some things happened after that, including a lot of swearing, and my phone being inundated with messages of laughter. Cardiff 2-1 Ipswich.

It means Ipswich stay 3rd, with both Southampton and Leeds winning. What hurts about this result the most is just how it’s so un-Ipswich. We have been the team to score late winners and equalisers. So to be on the other end felt alien to me. After Tuesday nights incredible finish against Bristol City, I wildly claimed to a mate of mine, that Ipswich would not lose again this season…that went well.

After the sucker punch loss, me and girlfriend decided to head to Morden Hall Park, for a wander around the greenery to clear the head. We grabbed two coffees and shared a chocolate brownie, both helped to get over a sickening loss. As the sun started to set, unaware to me there was an incredible rugby match forming at Twickenham (well done England).

After getting back to the car, we discussed what we were going to have for dinner. Homemade burgers were on the cards. On route to the shop, I popped into the local car wash for a little spruce. There was an unusual long queue formed ahead of us, but decided to wait. While sat in the line, I decided to pop the opening of the F1 race in Jeddah on my phone. As a huge F1 fan- who has just booked to go to Imola in May. I have never felt so uninterested in a season after just two rounds. I don’t know whether it’s the Saturday races, the soulless middle eastern tracks or the utter domination of Max Verstappen. The lack of any kind of jeopardy means I’m just not that bothered about being fully invested in a race. Aside from Lance Stroll deciding to crash one of his Daddy’s cars in the barrier, the lack of action yet again was compelling. A big shout out must go to Oliver Bearman, who after just one day in the car finished P7, in front of a seven time World Champion. His audition for a seat next season couldn’t have gone much better.

Back at the car wash and things weren’t going well. As we crawled to the front of the queue, ‘the boss/ the chap with the card machine’, informed me that the machine was broken and it was hand wash only. With about five cars behind me I was committed and Apple Paid £10 for the service. We finally made our way through and headed to the shop for fuel and burger supplies.

By the time we got home there was just 5 laps left of the 2nd borefest in a row. As I created my burger patties I thought about the state of F1 and have the new regulations failed? Cars are now bulletproof, due to teams being given such restricted access to parts, meaning unless weather interrupts- Verstappen could genuinely clean sweep this season. Budget restrictions means its harder to close the gap to the front, and lack of flexibility in the rules dampens innovation. As well as blocking new teams from entering, the sport has stripped itself from what made it great, and it doesn’t even realise.

F1 has become the car wash experience. Queuing up to get access, only to be greeted with a rushed hand wash option. At first it seems brilliant, but in the end it’s completely unsustainable as a business. They need to fix the machine and quickly.

Sport Rating 3/10

Car wash Rating- 7/10

Burger Rating 9/10

Saturday Sports Review: Boring Bahrain & A Successful Plymouth Pilgrimage

It’s 5:15pm…

Max Verstappen has won a Formula One race for the 55th time. I wondered whether or not I would even bother talking about the sports curtain raiser in Bahrain, but here we are.

I’ve got an hour to wait until I can cook my marinating chicken- it’s jerk with rice and peas for dinner tonight. So as I have a bit of time I thought I would do a quick summary of todays play. As the title suggests, it wasn’t a thriller. Saturday’s closer than expected qualifying failed to deliver any surprises in what must be one of the most forgettable opening races in memory. It’s worrying signs for the sport, with no other driver able to even take a swing at Max’s Red Bull- let alone a punch. Verstappen broke the record for 19 wins in a season last year, I worry that he may already have that in his sights, for this mammoth 24 race season.

F1 of course has had domination periods before. In recent memory, Mercedes winning an incredible 8 titles in a row. However, you could argue over that time that just one of those seasons (2020) produced no challengers. We had Lewis vs Rosberg, Vettel and more recentlly Max himself. But we’re drifting into an era of unchallenged supremacy, with Perez unable to get anywhere near his three time world champion teammate.

I do feel F1 has backed itself in a corner with the new rules, closing off innovation, doubled with the budget cap makes it almost impossible for teams to close the gap over a course of a season. It’s almost as though we’re already limping towards the next rule changes, with the hope that someone else pulls it together.

I’ll finish off this F1 segment with the words of Jeremy Clarkson was interviewed on the grid by Martin Brundle before the race. When asked who he is backing for the win he replied “Adrian Newey”. He has designed another almighty car and deserves so much credit. He’s probably saved his boss’ job too, I doubt the Red Bull hierarchy would’ve been so forgiving of Christian Horner’s behaviour if the car was back in the midfield.

In more positive news, Ipswich Town headed back into the top two of the Championship with a comfortable 2-0 at Plymouth. I watched the two events simultaneously on a duel screen set up. A drab first half, coupled with a uneventful race meant that I was raiding through the Percy Pig Tails far too quickly. A sugar rush hit at half time, where I rushed to make my marinade in time for the second half. Thankfully a better second half performance meant that I was able to ease of the sweets and enjoy a gorgeous deflected goal from Connor Chaplin. The little man produced an underserved knee slide celebration, and I’m here for it. A few minutes later Big Keith smashed in Towns second to guarantee Ipswich were heading back into the automatic promotion places. With Leeds and Leicester both dropping points, it really does feel something special is brewing. Bold statement and bookmark this, Ipswich Town will not lose another game this season. Watch them lose at home to Bristol City on Tuesday night…I think the Percy Pigs are giving me a second wind.

Sport Rating 6/10

Percy Pig High Rating 9/10

Chelsea vs Leeds Review: Lime bikes and padded seats

It’s 6:15pm…

I have quickly eaten a plate of steak and potatoes. I’m off to Stamford Bridge for an tasty looking F.A Cup Tie. A Chelsea team off the back of a morle sapping League Cup final defeat vs Leeds, a Premier League side in waiting. I’m meet a friend of mine at Wimbledon station at 6:30. As I’ve been working at home all day I opt to take on the slightly chilly Wednesday evening drizzle, by grabbing a rental electric bike. I weirdly end up cycling past my girlfriend and then neighbour who were both heading home after work. I greet one with a kiss and one with a handshake, I’ll let you hazard a guess who got what.

I arrived at Wimbledon station at 6:25pm. Feeling slightly queasy, I definitely hadn’t let my food get down as momentarily my dinner threatened to make a reappearance. I power through and wander through the station down to the underground and meet my friend. We spoke about how he had been campaigning in his local area to get the resident parking fee reduced in his area. He had managed to get 200 signatures and now a breakthrough was imminent, a potential £1,000 a year reduction was on the cards- power to the people!

We arrive at the ground with the irritating drizzle getting in my eyes. I go for the hood up option, to protect my ever thinning collection of hair. We navigate a small queue to get inside the ground, where we’re greeted by carpeted staircases to get up to our position. I can’t say I’ve seen such a thing in a football ground before. My lack of experience in Premier League grounds was starting to show, walking past various food options, a circle bar with seating options and tables. Luxuries that I have never had at my beloved Portman Road. A quick purchase of a bottle of Oasis each (for the cost of £8.50!) and it was game time.

We made our seats just as the teams were coming out, The addition of a padded seat was nice, they’re a lot kinder on the prostate. Atmosphere inside the ground was as expected, aside from the traditional chant of clap clap clap clap Chelsea! It was flat. All the noise was made by the entire end of Leeds fans to our right. Not long into the game and the noise from the travelling fans exploded into life. As the Leeds front line pressed a loose Chelsea pass out of the back, young forward Joseph smashed his finish past the helpless Sanchez for his first ever senior goal. At this point a rowdy Leeds fan behind us was escorted out of the ground by the stewards, a long way to travel for 9 minutes of football.

Chelsea looked every bit of a side who had played 120 minutes just 72 hours earlier, leggy, careless and devoid of any confidence. Blue Billion Pound Bottle Jobs FC do still have talent though, and at points it shined through. With their first real move of any quality they equalised, a quick triangle of passes released Jackson, who finished well in between Meslier’s legs. A classy goal which had come out of nowhere. For the rest of the second half Chelsea controlled the ball better and with 8 minutes to go before half time took the lead. Raheem Sterling switched sides and produced a lovely cut back to Mykhailo Mudryk (yep, I copy and pasted his name off the BBC Sport website) who produced another lovely finish into the far corner.

With that it was half time. Even though we had both already eaten, we both agreed to share a pizza. 5:30pm dinners are dangerous and will very rarely see you through until dawn. I did also find a rouge crème egg in my pocket, but now thought I would save for a later date. By the time the pizza was ‘cooked’ it was time for the second half. Pizza doesn’t really have a place for a stadium snack and now I see why, trying to delicately balance a box on our laps whilst tearing poorly cut slices is not an easy job. We mustered through and both thought the pizza lacked any kind of flavour, cardboard base and lacked any kind of tomato sauce. Still it offered more quality than Chelsea did in the second half, and after young Joseph cushioned a lovely header to equalise for Leeds, it looked like the game was drifting to extra time again. A more experienced Leeds fan in front of me, blew his cover. With his long sighted huge font glaring from his phone screen. I could make out the words “GET INNN!!” in a WhatsApp sent. Kindly I didn’t rat him out.

From a selfish Ipswich fan perspective I really wanted extra time. Leeds have a Yorkshire derby to play on Saturday lunchtime, so would’ve loved another energy sapping 30minutes. It wasn’t to be though and Conor Gallaghers cool, turn and finish meant that BBPBJ (I’m not sure that’s catching on) scrapped through into the Quarter Finals. In truth it was a poor performance from Chelsea and arguably Leeds deserved the win. It’s interesting to see what will happen with Chelsea in the summer, it seems like they are miles off the top four in terms of quality and management. Do the board have the patience to stick with the plan of youth? There is promise in the ranks, but rarely these days do we see long term plans followed through. From a Leeds side of things, I really struggle to understand how this team got relegated from The Premier League last season. I would be very surprised if they don’t get promoted this season, fingers crossed alongside Ipswich.

Post game, we saw a little bit of pushing and shoving amongst some real tough men, before heading to a local bar to have a drink so the crowds could settle down. I ended up with a J20, orange and passionfruit, not bad. Meanwhile in the toilets, some Chelsea fans were celebrating the win with a good smell of their keys, they seemed very happy afterwards!

And with that I headed home, as a blue sided netural is was a enjoyable game. Lots of questions for this Chelsea club to answer at the minute. But I am one who certainly doesn’t have the answers. I’m just a man with a melted Crème Egg in his pocket.

Sport Rating 7/10

Pizza Rating 3/10

VAR vs DRS: A look into how a post AI world could look.

It’s 3:22pm…

This morning, I woke up a little too late to catch the full drama of what unfolded over in Ranchi, India. By the time I had gotten up India were just 40 runs shy of their target. And the madness of a 5 wicket collapse had been and gone.

England lost, India won. It was a fantastic test match. It ebbed and flowed each way until India managed to- in the end- comfortably get over the line. It’s a case of what could have been for England , who will feel they let India get 50 too many in their first innings. Then subsequently, England fell at least 50 short for their second.

It was the match for youth though, with inexperienced Bashir, Jaiswal and Jurel the stars of the show. India go to show just how much depth they really have in their ranks, promising signs for the future of Indian cricket, ominous for the rest of the world watching on. For England though, this is why it’s so important to play cricket on the sub continent. The likes of the heroic Hartley and the brilliant Bashir, wouldn’t ever get a look in English conditions. With number 1 spinner Jack Leach again having fitness worries, both will feel they have a great chance of taking over the mantle, for the summer.

Speaking of youngsters, plenty of fresh faced talent was on show for The League Cup Final yesterday. I thought it was a fantastic game, with both teams gunning for a win from the kick off. Chelsea, desperate to get a result for the ever under pressure boss Poch the Pooch. Liverpool, wanting to get another piece of silverware for their departing legendary Turkey Teeth Klopp. It finished 0-0 after 90, with Chelsea arguably having the better chances and how they will rue those. Van Dijk eventually (for the second time) broke the deadlock with another brilliant header, cue wonderful scenes from behind that goal. So Liverpool lift the cup, but the game wasn’t without it’s controversy.

Yet again VAR, was in the headlines. Liverpool’s opener in normal time, chalked off for an alleged foul by the offside positioned Endo. I’ve seen every referee come out and defend the decision, saying that the rules have been followed. I have to say that that final statement I agree with, the rules of VAR have been followed. However, at what cost? Every single goal now seemingly has a check, just to make sure that someone’s toenail isn’t offside. But we all wanted this didn’t we? When bad decisions were being made, ‘we have the technology, why not use it!’

Likewise in the cricket, when Joe Root was given out LBW in the early hours of Sunday morning. Conspiracy theories were being chucked around Twitter about how the BCCI we’re manipulating DRS in India’s favour. In fact, what had happened is the pretty little graphic hadn’t lined up properly with the technology, making it seem that the ball had pitched outside leg stump. There have been arguments (mostly from the England side) regarding the DRS’ ‘umpires call’ all series, blaming the technology seems to be becoming the norm.

VAR and DRS in that respect have it’s similarities. Both have had huge question marks over them the last few weeks and how they are used. Both were originally brought in to take away the howler from the lowly human that made the said decision. But now, it has taken over. Marginal calls being sent ‘upstairs’ so another human can watch multiple replays, over and over again, until they have to make the call. Now we have let technology into our sports it’s here to stay. We have let the bear out of the cage, and good luck to the brave soul who’s going to try and shepherd it back in there!

Like Artificial Intelligence, we saw the benefits of introducing it into our everyday lives. Oh look, it can finish my sentence on an email! But the more we use it, the more we let it have control.

It’s like feeding next doors cat, it’s fun for a little while, giving it strokes, a nice bit of company. But then it shits on your doorstep.

Sport Rating 9/10

Technology in Sport Rating 3/10

Bashir Bashing, Town march on & pinky rings

It’s 8:15am…

I awake naturally. The slight heat of the -almost- Spring sun glances my face through an irritating gap in the blind. I rise, stumble into the kitchen and make two coffees. Back in bed, I settle in for the evening session of cricket that is happening on the other side on the globe in India.

A Bashir bashing was underway, played on a drought formed pitch, offering the offspinner plenty of assistance on his way to four brilliant wickets at the close. A few discussions were had of Stokes brilliant captaincy today, what impresses me is how new, young players are able to thrive in this environment. Over the years we have seen the likes of Dom Bess, Mason Crane and Liam Dawson enter the team and have their careers fail before they have even begun. Even the likes of one day masters Moeen Ali and Adil Rashid were constantly shunned.

 However, the past two years under Stokes reign. We have seen the emergence of Harry Brook, Rehan Ahmed ,Tom Hartley and Bashir. Faith has been put in these players, with persistent attacking fields wielding confidence and wickets. Spinners of old have been used to ‘hold up an end’, with the aim of not leaking runs. Stokes has transformed the role and now is reaping the awards.

It's 5pm- Ipswich have just brilliantly beaten Birmingham City 3-1, thanks to two late goals from a man named Jeremy and Hutch the Clutch. No time to waste though, I must drop the girlfriend and one of her pals off at the station. We’ve had some great news recently, an offer accepted on a house! The drive takes 15min, my Mrs barely comes up for air as she excitedly explains the story of how it came to be. I chip in with the odd word, before they head off into the night. Fingers crossed for a smooth purchase.

It's 5:20pm. I’ve just dropped the car off at home and head to the local, to meet my mate.  The Six Nations is on at the pub and I’m in time for the second half. I can’t say I know too much about the rules of rugby, but each year the tournament rolls round it reminds me to do one thing…invest shares in Guinness. Each table Is swarmed in towers of black filled soup, with each glass seemly being caressed by a hand featuring a pinky worn ring. The pub frustratingly had just two lines of Guinness on, meaning that it was still a couple deep at the bar when I arrived.

By the time I shuffled my way to a view of the screen, a man with a very un-Scottish name had scored a hattrick. In between collective groans and slurping on white foam, I  explained the ‘accepted offer on the house’ story to my mate. I gave him the shortened ‘emotionally stunted male’ version of the story. Droning on about interest rates, surveys and how much more convenient it will be that I’ll have off street parking.

 In the end England lost, Scotland won. England too wasteful with the ball, apparently.

We exit the pub after the game is done, he’s got to get back to feed the dog. For me, an evening watching the new series of Drive to Survive awaits. Good luck to the producers of that show for trying to make the 2023 F1 season interesting.

Root plays Boreball, an innings of class but it doesn’t hit the spot for Bazball addicts

It’s 5:15am. My alarm rings out, I scramble to turn it off. Check England vs India score. ENG currently 67-3. *Sigh* Phone off, roll back to sleep.

It’s 6:45am. 2nd alarm call of the days rings out. I repeat the same as above. ENG 118-5. *Sigh* Phone off, roll back to sleep.

It’s 7:30am. 3rd and final alarm of the morning rings out. But this time work dictates that I actually have to get out of bed. I pop the cricket on my phone as I get ready. Joe Root and Ben Foakes are at the crease going at a snails pace in this Bazball era (150-5). No shots in anger, with forward defences the main weapons of choice.

As I head out for work at 8:20am, Root has just crawled to 50 off over 100 balls. Alistair Cook in the TNT studio was purring, proper attritional cricket was back. As I painfully listened to TalkSport on drive work- please bring back TMS, please! What stuck out in my mind was just how flat it was, aside from Ben Foakes lazily clipping a ball straight to an Indian fielder, not a lot was happening- this isn’t Bazball!

One advantage of Root spending nearly 5 hours at the crease , is the fact that I could actually watch him cover drive his way his 31st test hundred 100: ‘class is permanent’, ‘can’t keep good players down for long blah blah blah’, were the choices from the commentary team. But it really was take your pick of which cliche you would like to use today.

For me though, if I’m honest, it didn’t really hit the spot. Bazball has become a class A drug and I think I’ve become addicted. 2 years ago, a couple of guys called Ben and Brendon offered me something which at the time was new, exciting and naughty. I took it and liked the feeling it gave me: Ben Duckett’s willow on ball, Zak Crawley’s gangley arms reaching, Rootscoops, Stokes tail wagging and bucket hats. Unfortunately, like all drugs there are plenty of lows; Ben Duckett nicking behind, slumps splattered and more collapses than a game of Jenga with a three year old. The pill that Brendon of Ben gives you two of these options and each time you take it, you go in chasing that high.

However, today was a flash back to the days of boring sobriety and as England meandered to 302-7 at the close, it was just a late Robinson slog for six which made me twitch…inject some more of that in my veins!

The first sign of addiction is admitting that you have a problem. I think I’m in need of Bazball rehab…but come on, just one more for old times sakes…see you tomorrow.

Seven goals, Apple Watch SOS & celebration brownies…

It’s 9:48pm…

Relax Apple, I’ve not had a fall. Ipswich have just scored a last minute winner.

Ipswich have just beaten Rotherham. A phrase in which won’t exactly excite the loins of many, but for the thousands in attendance at Portman Road and those watching in the warmth of their homes (wave), it is a result which could turn out to be massive.

Flash back 2 minutes earlier, as the Cafu of Rotherham dinked home a panenka penalty in the 93rd minute, it looked like a case of the ‘old Ipswich’ from pre Messiah Mckenna. Throwing away a 3-1 lead to draw at home to the side rooted to the bottom of the table, who are surely destined for another stint in League 1. But this side are built of stronger metal than that and as Omari Hutchinson slammed home a winner just seconds later, I couldn’t help but leap off my comfy sofa and let out an almighty roar. My apple watch responded, with a beeping sound of its own. I thought that it was joining in the celebrations with me, but no. It was in fact worried about my safety, I had seemingly replicated a ‘hard fall’. But you needn’t worry my Apple Angels from above, I was fine and dandy.

In truth, the game itself was awful. A thriller it was not. Aside from being turned over 4-0 at Elland Road by a rampant Leeds side, this was one of Ipswich’s worst performances of the season. Which in itself speaks volumes really, that a newly promoted side can be so bloody good for so long, we’ve been spoilt! A disjointed, weird performance started from the 2nd minute and it never really got much better. A 15 minute attacking spell that brought 3 goals almost won the game for Ipswich. But a second half full of misplaced passes, silly fouls and flappy goalkeeping allowed The Millers back into the game, and in reach of a deserved point.

Relief in the end came in the shape of Omari Hutchinson. I think if he was our own player he would probably be one of the first names on the team sheet, but the Chelsea loanees time will have to wait for now. A cool, thunderous drive from just inside the box turned out to be the winner, almost a repeat of his West Brom effort a couple of weeks ago. No wild celebrations from Omari or the team really, I think they all knew that on the whole this wasn’t good enough.

A small mention does have to referee, Mr Keith Stroud. Who’s excessive arm gestures could get him a job directing planes at Stansted. But his poor display yet again begs the question ‘are there really no other better referees available?’ And that’s all I’ve got to say about that.

A win then, an undeserved filthy win. Thankfully, earlier in the day I had popped up the local shop near my work, where they were selling a 4 pack of chocolate orange brownies. A cup of tea followed up by said brownie was just the celebration I needed. At least it made my Apple Watch happy I guess.

Up next for Ipswich, another home game against Mowbray-less Birmingham on Saturday. Improvement needed, but I can’t wait.

Sport Rating 7/10

Brownie Rating 8/10