Saturday Sports Review: The Broken Car Wash
It’s 8:55am- I’ve have just woken up to see that England have predicability been demolished by India in the 5th and final test. The team follow in the footsteps of the previous tours, some bright moments, but the reality being that they’re just no where the quality required in Indian conditions. A lot has been made of the ‘Bazball’ approach, but I think a bit of perspective is needed. Before the Stokes and McCullum era, England had just been comprehensively beaten by West Indies. The test team was in complete disarray. However, in the (nearly) two years afterwards, they have made a competition out of every single test since. The style has brought England so much closer to their rivals and is covering up some of the quality disparity between teams. In the early hours of the morning, James Anderson became the first ever fast bowler to reach 700 wickets, a remarkable achievement, even if the wicket itself had minimal impact on the game.
The winter cricket is over then. I hope that there are no overreactions from the India tour. The media will have the knifes out for who’s to blame, but no one has got close to India on home soil for over a decade. This England team has made us believe, but sometimes there is no shame in admitting that you’re second best. Now its time for the sport to hand over its soul, as it embarks on a nearly 3 month IPL season, wake me up in June.
If the day started badly it was only going to get worse. Ipswich made the long 500 mile round trip to Cardiff for the early kick off, thanks Sky Sports. It was a pretty turgid game. Town weathered the early storm in the first 20mins, before beginning to control the game, without really testing the Cardiff box. However, Kieffer Moores incredible finish against his former club in the 80th minute, made it look like Ipswich were heading joint top. But… but… but. Some things happened after that, including a lot of swearing, and my phone being inundated with messages of laughter. Cardiff 2-1 Ipswich.
It means Ipswich stay 3rd, with both Southampton and Leeds winning. What hurts about this result the most is just how it’s so un-Ipswich. We have been the team to score late winners and equalisers. So to be on the other end felt alien to me. After Tuesday nights incredible finish against Bristol City, I wildly claimed to a mate of mine, that Ipswich would not lose again this season…that went well.
After the sucker punch loss, me and girlfriend decided to head to Morden Hall Park, for a wander around the greenery to clear the head. We grabbed two coffees and shared a chocolate brownie, both helped to get over a sickening loss. As the sun started to set, unaware to me there was an incredible rugby match forming at Twickenham (well done England).
After getting back to the car, we discussed what we were going to have for dinner. Homemade burgers were on the cards. On route to the shop, I popped into the local car wash for a little spruce. There was an unusual long queue formed ahead of us, but decided to wait. While sat in the line, I decided to pop the opening of the F1 race in Jeddah on my phone. As a huge F1 fan- who has just booked to go to Imola in May. I have never felt so uninterested in a season after just two rounds. I don’t know whether it’s the Saturday races, the soulless middle eastern tracks or the utter domination of Max Verstappen. The lack of any kind of jeopardy means I’m just not that bothered about being fully invested in a race. Aside from Lance Stroll deciding to crash one of his Daddy’s cars in the barrier, the lack of action yet again was compelling. A big shout out must go to Oliver Bearman, who after just one day in the car finished P7, in front of a seven time World Champion. His audition for a seat next season couldn’t have gone much better.
Back at the car wash and things weren’t going well. As we crawled to the front of the queue, ‘the boss/ the chap with the card machine’, informed me that the machine was broken and it was hand wash only. With about five cars behind me I was committed and Apple Paid £10 for the service. We finally made our way through and headed to the shop for fuel and burger supplies.
By the time we got home there was just 5 laps left of the 2nd borefest in a row. As I created my burger patties I thought about the state of F1 and have the new regulations failed? Cars are now bulletproof, due to teams being given such restricted access to parts, meaning unless weather interrupts- Verstappen could genuinely clean sweep this season. Budget restrictions means its harder to close the gap to the front, and lack of flexibility in the rules dampens innovation. As well as blocking new teams from entering, the sport has stripped itself from what made it great, and it doesn’t even realise.
F1 has become the car wash experience. Queuing up to get access, only to be greeted with a rushed hand wash option. At first it seems brilliant, but in the end it’s completely unsustainable as a business. They need to fix the machine and quickly.
Sport Rating 3/10
Car wash Rating- 7/10
Burger Rating 9/10